DUI - Dating under the influence, the booze and the smooze
People ask me whether alcohol and love make a great cocktail. I have to admit that this strikes somewhat of a raw nerve. I have found from personal experience that on all too many occasions my amazing dates seem to degenerate into booze fuelled meaningless sex and at the end of every relationship I have woken up with another love hangover. So, the question is when is enough, enough, when talking about drinking and dating.
I don’t want to appear prudish, sanctimonious or even a “wowser” in this discussion. One of the great pleasures in fine dining with a wonderful companion is the pairing of incredible wines and cocktails with delicious food. We should all know our own limits as adults and our capacity to drink alcohol without moving to mild or moderate intoxication.
But what happens when you find yourself dating that extraordinary person who seems to have an uncontrollable appetite for liquid stimulation?
I have been there! This is further complicated with women who have later disclosed that they have been prescribed antidepressant medication and continue to drink heavily. Mixing alcohol with any medication should be strictly monitored and only undertaken with professional medical approval. My experience with 2 women who drank and popped pills was horrendous and sad. The effect of alcohol and antidepressant medication is quite frankly shocking. The medication dramatically amplified the effect of the alcohol rendering both women stumbling drunk incoherent messes. I raised this with one partner that I was in a relationship with. There is no easy way to tackle this topic and I confronted it head on. The result was predictably predictable. I was met with angry denial and push back. This is not a gender thing as I am sure there are many men who do the same. The issue is that in life there is often so much pain and alcohol is the great social anaesthetic. Needless to say both relationships ended soon after the discussions.
Another wonderful woman that I dated mixed copious amounts of alcohol with sleeping tablets. I noticed it was taking 10 cups of coffee every morning for her to wake up. I almost felt that I needed the jumper leads and a car battery! By lunchtime the liquid stimulation had commenced again, and she was back to her sparkling self. Her energy levels were extraordinarily affected by the combination of drugs and alcohol.
I have approached all of my companions with care and sensitivity on this issue. It comes back to one factor, do you, the dater feel comfortable with the datee’s conduct? I will never accept a companion who is alcohol fuelled. And I have made the mistake in the past of rationalising this behaviour as a social norm and therefore acceptable. It is far from this and quite often masking pain, unworthiness, disappointment and denial. Your love interest should feel uninhibited and able to be themselves without a constant blood alcohol level that would put a smile on the liquor shop owner’s face.
As I have said above combining booze with pills is a catastrophe waiting to happen. Showing someone the light who is spiralling downwards into excessive consumption of booze can also really challenge your relationship. Be careful, recommend they get help and be their support not their therapist. In recent years I have tried to meet like-minded people who enjoy physical fitness and healthy life. Alcohol and fitness don’t mix; and alcohol and weight control certainly do not mix. The key is to find that elusive balance where the enjoyment and great date experience is not the introduction card to the next AA meeting.
Never give up on love JD x
BURNT by JD Watt 2nd Edition available on Amazon Kindle
JD Watt, author of the book “BURNT”; the shocking true story of a woman’s deception and a man’s broken heart, is a divorced, devastatingly handsome, affluent single 51-year-old professional. He lives in the wealthy Eastern Suburbs of Sydney Australia. He is also a blogger giving his advice on love, relationships, sex and dating from the perspective of a middle-aged guy having learnt so much from his decade long search for “the one”.
Intelligent, established, sophisticated, cultured, honest, kind, loving, generous, tall and handsome, JD is every woman’s dream.
He offers advice on relationships and how to read the signs, so you never get “BURNT”. JD believes in love and so should you. BURNT by JD Watt is available on Amazon, Kindle and online Booksellers globally. Download or buy your copy today.
JD Watt is not a psychologist or therapist; he bases his advice and opinions on his own life experience.
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